A number of years ago I designed and built a new home for myself. I was working with an architect who had a good reputation in the community and was proud of it.

At one point, the architect asked me about the wall separating the great room from the bedroom wing. Did I want 5/8-inch or 3/4-inch drywall installed, and did I want it screwed or nailed? My stomach lurched—a familiar sign that I had no idea what he was talking about.

After that momentary gut reaction, I replied that I simply wanted a wall like the one next to me in his office, one that I could paint or wallpaper and that would separate the great room from the bedroom area. He snorted at me, and we went on from there.

I don’t really remember what wall specification we eventually decided on. But I do know that the architect was not as smart as he thought he was. When the house was complete and I moved in, I discovered that the noise from the large, high-ceilinged great room echoed into the bedroom area. This terrific entertainment space was unusable if someone was trying to sleep at the same time.

It became obvious even to me—the dummy homeowner—that the architect had not asked the right questions. The pertinent question in that situation should have been, “Do you want this wall to be soundproof?” The architect, while well trained and having a good reputation, simply didn’t design a space that was usable for its purpose.

This incident taught me valuable lessons about working with specialists. The next time you’re in a similar situation—faced with an expert who overwhelms you with decisions about details—remember these principles:

• Take ownership. Anytime you call in an expert, remember that he or she doesn’t “own” the situation or problem—you do.
• The owner’s needs come first. Experts have specialized knowledge, but that doesn’t make them superior. The owner’s needs—your needs—are always of prime importance.
• For the owner, deliverables are more important than details. What mattered for me was not the specifications of how the wall was built, but the characteristics of the finished product. If the specialist starts with details, steer the conversation toward the describing the desired results.
• Don’t let the specialist drive your expectations. Experts may not have your full interests in mind. After all, they’re only human and, like all of us, operate from their own frame of reference. Only you can determine which considerations—price, sturdiness, durability, soundproofing—are most important to you.
• Hold the specialist accountable for all of your needs. Let the expert know what you want and what your priorities are. Make it clear that you expect the finished product to meet those needs.
• Ask questions. Once you’ve explained your needs, ask the expert for help in understanding which materials and methods will best meet them.

After my experience with that architect, I’ll never build another house that doesn’t include proper sound insulation where needed. More important, I’ll never again believe that an “expert” knows more about my needs than I do.